Chapter 5<\/p>\n\n\n\n
January 2011<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After 4 \u00bd years of hell, there was finally a warrant out for stalkers arrest. He was being charged with 3 felony counts of stalking, up to 26 years in prison. I could not believe it and was thrilled! After literally years of fighting, frustration, pushing, basically stalking the people who had the authority to stop my stalker, he was filing going to have to face what he’s done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I got a call from Detective Lorrie \u2013 stalker was working at a homeless shelter and saw the warrant and called her to turn himself in. It was really happening!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He turned himself in, I don\u2019t\u2019 remember how much bail was, but he bailed himself out and awaited a hearing. Trial is set for March. In the meantime, Chris and I continue to keep a very low profile. We didn\u2019t want to do ANYTHING that may hurt the case.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m working as an Executive Recruiter at a very conservative national CPA firm, very rarely have to go out in public, and it\u2019s relatively secure. I had already disclosed what was going on, and his picture was kept at the front desk, but with the warrant, who knows what his reaction was going to be. I was acutely aware that retaliation could be coming but hoped with the warrants he would be on good behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After my initial full-day interview with the prosecutors and court clerk along with Detective Lorrie, I felt a huge sense of relief. This REALLY is going to trial. He will be held accountable. Although they kept warning me about how the jury may see things, they may believe him, or feel bad for him, it\u2019s still largely circumstantial, and if there is ANY doubt they could rule in his favor \u2013 I never considered that to really be an option. Anyone, who takes the time can see it\u2019s him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I saw the court clerk in the parking garage after that initial interview\u2026 she asked if I carried a firearm. I said \u201cNo I don\u2019t right now.\u201d She recommend I start. Validating. I was feeling good. I started looking into the process of how to obtain a concealed carry license and after some research, I decided to start the process of obtaining my license.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With the investigation still ongoing and more and more subpoenas going out, interviews etc.. we still don\u2019t have our carry permits. With all the police reports, PO etc. we didn\u2019t know if we\u2019d pass the background check, and if stalker knew we had them or even applied, we wouldn\u2019t put it past him to shoot himself and say I did it! We took a basic firearm class along with home defense, but didn\u2019t want to chance applying for a permit until the case was closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chris took a new position at his job and is now traveling every week. He\u2019s gone Monday -Thursday most weeks. But at home, I felt secure. I had an alarm system, dogs, shotguns, and a handgun. Basically, I continued to stay in my little corner of the world and went nowhere by myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I consciously decided the night of all the death threats that I was not going down without a fight. I felt \u2018ready\u2019 for him if he showed up at home, so that\u2019s where I spent most of my time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The March trial is postponed, (turns out his attorney fired him) and rescheduled for November. This was a blessing in disguise. As the evidence from the subpoena\u2019s started coming in, it was mostly circumstantial. The Wi-Fi account he was using came back to his neighbor, he was using his friend the police officer Bobby\u2019s computer as well as L & L\u2019s. Nothing was coming back directly to him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Detective Lorrie and the Prosecutors are working hard on bring it together and have to balance it with other cases. There was so much evidence, and this big of a Stalking case was new to everyone. I learn afterwards that Detective Lorrie even brought the big box with all the case material with her on her vacations to continue working on it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I believe it was around April when a plea deal was sent to stalker. It was very light, like 6 month\u2019s probation and no jail time. Of course, I protested, but it was offered. I was thankful when he turned it down. I thought it was way too soft. Stalker is claiming he is innocent and wanted to go in front of a jury. He thought he could charm them into believing him \u2013 just has he had so many others. With the overwhelming evidence being most circumstantial, and his remarkable ability to sell lies, I was concerned but totally up for the challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The November trail was again postponed. New trial date is February 2012. There was a 403b hearing scheduled. Turns out in the investigation, they found his ex-wife he stalked before me as well as an ex-girlfriend after me. Their testimonies were heard and they were going to be allowed to testify in front of the jury. I felt bad for both of them. Neither wanted to be there at all. After years of the years of torment, and PO’s, his ex-wife had put it behind her, she moved on with life. But was still very clearly affected by what she had gone though. The girl they found after me was young and had some personal issues that he exploited. I\u2019m so thankful to both of them for having the courage to testify. The trial was scheduled to begin on February 12th<\/sup> and set for a 5 day jury trial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I spent hours upon hours with Detective Lorrie and the Prosecutors over the course of months leading up to the trial. I helped them decipher the phone messages and tie them to him, translate his \u2018coded\u2019 messages, so the progression\u2026 basically help to show that it couldn\u2019t have been anyone else but stalker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I also saw for the first time some of the reports he had put on me along with some other things I didn\u2019t know. For example, he turned me in for fraud with the state, and for insurance fraud among other things! Really glad I didn\u2019t know that at the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I learned so much about the system and how the prosecutors work. Believe me, it\u2019s not like it is on TV. I had a newfound and growing respect for the Prosecutors and Detective Lorrie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Finally, it\u2019s the first week of February 2012 \u2013 trail in next week!! 5 \u00bd years since it started – and I can finally see an end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The week before the trial was spent with the prosecutors and Detective Lorrie. The push was really on now to get all of the evidence in and tied together. I\u2019m so thankful to be able to help, it was incredibly therapeutic and validating. I was ready, we were ready.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Shew, that weekend before the start of the trial was filled with anxiety. The reality of facing him in court was setting in. I was looking forward to it, but terrified at the same time. Terrified of telling the story, facing him, his lies, being cross-examined, and under the judge & jury\u2019s microscope. I also knew that the media had caught wind of the trial and it was the top news story. I mean, this is what we\u2019ve been waiting for \u2013 everything is at stake. My\/Our entire course of life will be changed after the jury gives their verdict.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Looking back, I wish I would have kept notes on the trial as well. Most of this is from memory. It\u2019s from my perspective, sequestered in the room, I didn\u2019t get to see any of the trial itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s HERE!!! No sleep that night, my outfit is picked out. I\u2019m ready, let\u2019s do this! We walk into the courthouse. Connie and my parents are waiting along with Detective Lorrie, and the 2 Prosecutors among a crowd of people and media. Jury selection is first. Then we\u2019re on. Deep Breaths<\/p>\n\n\n\n We go upstairs to gather and wait for everyone that needs sequestered that day for the trial. I see his friend the police officer bobby and friend L. They say hi the Friend the Police officer bobby goes in for a hug. I think I froze, I really don\u2019t remember. Anyway, everyone\u2019s there. Jury is picked. Time to roll.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The prosecutors and defense did their opening statements. Not being allowed in the courtroom- I didn\u2019t get to hear. Rumor has it, Prosecutors kicked ass.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We are taken into a small private room with a meeting table where we will spend the next 5 days. There was a window, bathroom and coffee so we were good. No phones, no internet, no TV and We could NOT talk about the case at all. I had my friends and family there along with a few that were clearly not happy to be a part of it. It was tense. Nerve-racking. If you\u2019ve met me, you know that is not at all how I live. I pace when I stress, and prefer to be alone, it was HARD \u2013 but here we go!<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m first on the stand. I look out and see the Detective Lorrie sitting with the prosecutors. Good. I knew that was the plan but was happy to see her. We had spent so much time together working on the case, she became an amazing source of strength. Then I look at the defense table. There he was. Stalker, sitting smugly with a smirk with his public defender. He really believes he\u2019s going to win this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n His parents and sister aren\u2019t there, but a group from the homeless shelter is in support. I had a friend in the gallery, ONE and there were some reporters. No one else I knew was allowed to be there since they would all be called to testify. Pretty much everyone I knew personally over the last 6 years I would eventually be in that sequestered room whether they wanted to or not. Once you have testified and are released (won\u2019t be called back to re-testify) then they could be in the courtroom. Then the Judge. I\u2019ve heard great things about her being fair and reasonable and not taking crap. I hoped with everything I had that she and the jury would see through him and see the truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After swearing in, we basically, we started at the beginning and told the same story I\u2019ve told you here. After more than 6 hours on the stand, the first day had been adjourned. Imagine the pressure of being on the stand, in front of the judge and jury, having to remember dates and specifics for 6 years\u2026 with no notes. And no timeline. As time passes things start to run together and become blurry. I was afraid if I got thing mixed up, the defense attorney would try to use it against me. It was exhausting to say the least.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Day 2 \u2013 I\u2019m first on the stand again. Another 4 hours or so. Also scheduled are the cell phone and computer experts. They found the original images as well as the altered images on the thumb drive he turned in. He thought he had deleted them. Also, to testify is his next-door neighbor who the IP address came back to (he was hacking into his neighbors wi-fi).<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the way home on this day, for whatever reason it hit me hard that he could actually win, I mean, what IF the jury doesn\u2019t believe me, what if since most things didn\u2019t directly come back to him they had doubt. Oh God\u2026 Breakdown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Day 3 & 4 \u2013 Connie, Chris, L, Mom and Dad, co-workers, friends and 23 police officers who took reports, Detective Lorrie, his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend, along with a few others. It was a little awkward at first (and crowded) with all the police officers there, but after several games of euchre it became more relaxed. Somewhere towards the end of day 4 the Judge basically asks the prosecution to wrap up even though there was more evidence. His friend the police officer Bobby testified at one point, but I don\u2019t remember if he was testifying for the prosecutors or defense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Things seem to be looking good for the prosecution. We\u2019re excited it\u2019s almost over, but very aware that desperate people do desperate things. And as the trial is progressing, Stalker maybe getting nervous \u2013 and with nothing to loose, who knows what he\u2019ll do \u2013 but he\u2019s obviously super narcissistic, and hasn\u2019t testified yet so probably still thinks he\u2019ll win. Who know – either way, we were on alert, especially because on the way out of the parking garage across from the courthouse Chris and I are in the car waiting to backup when a big white van comes behinds us and blocks us in. As people start to get out, we\u2019re like what the hell?! It was the group from the homeless shelter. They wanted to tell us how good he\u2019s been for them, and was sorry for whatever I think he\u2019s done, but he really is a good guy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Oh my Gosh, get away from me!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Day 5 \u2013 Still sequestered. It\u2019s the defenses turn. He testifies and explains it wasn\u2019t him. A magic thumb drive appeared on his porch \u2013 which is the thumb drive he turned in \u2013 but it wasn\u2019t his. Someone else left it there \u2013 it wasn\u2019t him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I WISH WISH WISH I would have heard the closing arguments. It\u2019s my one big regrets. We had all decided to stay in our room during closing. I wish I would have heard it. Rumor has it the prosecutors were AWESOME in closing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The verdict comes back within a couple hours. GUILTY!! He was charged with 3 counts of felony stalking. 2 were for me, 1 was for stalking Chris. He was found guilty of both felony counts for me, but not for Chris. **We asked the jurors when it was all said and done why they didn\u2019t convict on the 3rd<\/sup>. They said that although all the actions and harassment were there, Chris in his testimony was asked if he was afraid of Stalker. Chris replied no, not if it was one on one, but didn\u2019t trust him not to bring a gun to a fist fight. He was more afraid for me then he was for himself. They deemed that Chris is a big strong guy basically so stalker was not guilty of making him fear for his life, even though all the stalking actions were there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n CLICK CLICK \u2013 the sweet sound of handcuffs locking. Best thing I\u2019ve heard in a long time!! Stalker was then escorted out of the room. I could breathe. His ex-wife could breath. His ex-girlfriend could breath.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sentencing was scheduled for a month later. We all turned in victim impact statements and had the opportunity to speak in court at the actual hearing. Both sides get to speak their peace. His parents were there for sentencing but did not speak for him. He had a couple people from the shelter speak on his behalf. We had several statements \u2013 the one I remember most was from his girlfriends brother. He said something to the extent of even though he was over here being \u201cgood\u201d at the shelter, he was still doing all of this us. The good doesn\u2019t take away from all the bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Judge Gull gives her ruling. 10 years. 5 for each felony to be served concurrently. He wouldn\u2019t even be eligible for parole until February 2017. I was THRILLLED! Finally I was going to get my life back! I was going to be able to sleep! She also awarded me restitution of 33K which I figured I\u2019d never see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The case was over, and I did a couple interviews with the local new stations. I also file a complaint with internal affairs regarding his friend the police officer Bobby. (They found him only guilty if bad decisions \u2013 not criminal \u2013 he did get a small reprimand but that was it) I realized in preparing for the trial I was speaking for others too \u2013 and wanted to shed a light on stalking. It can happen to anyone. Whether I meant to or not \u2013 I was becoming a face for Stalking. Detective Lorrie and I also became great friends. We did an episode of \u201cStalked: Someone\u2019s watching\u2019 on Investigation Discovery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was the season 4 opener entitled \u201cTwist of Hate\u2019. Even the prosecutors helped with it! That lead to a surprise quick trip to New York City to interview with Katie Couric. One of the questions I got ALL THE TIME was what was I going to do when he got out? Am I nervous? I honestly, always thought that once it was over we would move, start new.<\/p>\n\n\n\n **On a side note, Detective Lorrie and I got to do some very cool things! At the end of filming “Stalked: Someone’s Watching, we through a Guilty party – best party ever in my opinion! Then we were flown to NY City within 2 days of our initial interview. Imagine the nerves \u2013 this is SOOO outside my comfort zone\u2026 and our LUGGAGE WAS LOST! We got there with nothing and was going on KATIC COURIC the next day! It was 8:30 at night, and the stores close at 9:00. Our only option was to get up and go shopping. The Macy\u2019s is huge and we are on a time limit! It was soooooooo stressful! I can\u2019t even explain. Detective Lorrie \u2013 cool as a cucumber. Lol But at the end of the day, I got a whole new wardrobe and a fantastic pair of boots compliment of the Katie Couric show. \ud83d\ude0a<\/p>\n\n\n\n In all of those interviews I never really talked about my police interactions, I knew there was an appeal coming up and didn\u2019t want to do anything to effect it\u2019s outcome. Chris and I also FINALLY got our carry permits. I WILL NOT live like that again. Oh hell no.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After so many years as using HidingHilda as an alias, I decided to name my first firearm Hilda. I was still HidingHilda, but now I was living out loud. Once I got comfortable carrying, it changed everything. I felt empowered, no longer weak, and would never go down without a fight. It also changed my mind about moving. I\u2019m from here, my kids, my parents, my life were here \u2013 why should I have to move \u2013 why should I run away? So we didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I started speaking for the National Stalking Resource Center and at other Domestic Violence conferences. I took a promotion at work, but knew I had a life mission.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The company I worked for was a very conservative, gun free, professional accounting office. I looked and looked for a secure way to carry. I didn\u2019t live in a waistband; it was very hard to carry on body. Most conceal carry purses were not my style. I liked my Coach, Michael Kors, etc\u2026 but wanted a dedicated pocket to secure Hilda \u2013 without imprinting. My employer eventually came to me and said I had to give up all my anti-stalking efforts, take it off my LinkedIn etc. and give them 120% or I would be let go. I had 30 days\u2026 3 days after our initial conversation I was let go. Don\u2019t get me wrong, I was distracted at best and was pretty happy to get unemployment while I figured out what I was going to do with the rest of my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Chris and I go to a Gun Show, and there was a small company \u201cBold and Courageous Woman\u201d that sold concealed carry bags \u2013 that were different from ones I had previously seen. I got my first Gun Toten\u2019 Mama that day and asked the owner of BCW if she wanted a partner. Turns out she wanted to sell the company! That\u2019s it. That is what I\u2019m going to do. I\u2019m going to start a business. A business that focuses on women and self defense. Advocate for the 2nd<\/sup> Amendment. Use what God had given me. Between Thanksgiving and New Years we bought all her inventory, and jumped in with both feet. Our first show was January 2nd<\/sup>. The name of our company seemed so natural. January 2015 \u2013 HidingHilda, LLC was born \u2013 who would have ever thought!<\/p>\n\n\n\n In April I got a call from the prosecutors \u2013 3 years after conviction. Stalker is getting out \u2013 ON MONDAY! How did this happen?? I had NO IDEA it was even a possibility!!! He got an Associates Degree and is working on a BS while incarcerated. That combined with good behavior meant he was out. With NO NOTICE! According to DOC the stalking statute was \u201cmissed\u201d in the 45 day notification system and is still considered a victimless crime.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Prosecutors didn\u2019t even know, they kind of stumbled across it, having got a call from a parole officer asking about any computer restrictions for the parolee. (We got stalking statue added to the notification system that same year). But OMG he\u2019s going to be out on Monday! AND as soon as he walks out of prison \u2013 the protective order is up! How much sense does that make?? There is a PO while he is incarcerated, but it\u2019s up as soon as he\u2019s out!! Back to the courthouse I go. I don\u2019t want him to make any mistake, I DO NOT WANT ANY CONTACT. Detective Lorrie goes with me. He hasn\u2019t been in contact in the last 3 years, so had no idea if the PO would be granted. It was \u2013 no appeal this time!<\/p>\n\n\n\n I keep my eyes open everywhere I go and have Hilda. This time, I\u2019m not hiding. In November 2015 that same year, I get a call from Detective Lorrie. He was arrested for violating his parole. He was found guilty on 2 counts but got right out with time served. Seriously?<\/p>\n\n\n\n By April 2016 he was totally off parole and done with his sentence. He wasn\u2019t even supposed to be eligible for parole until February 2017! How can one person \u2013 his parole officer- decide he\u2019s done? After and a 5 day trial, the judge, the jury \u2013 ONE fucker can just decide?? Oh I was pissed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ve gotten a couple of calls now from women he\u2019s dated\u2026 women who now have PO\u2019s on him. He has forged a letter from the FBI exonerating him all charges and naming me as a \u2018protected informant\u2019 \u2013 explaining why he went to prison.<\/p>\n\n\n\n July 2018 \u2013 stalker starts visiting my daughter at her job. She FREAKS out of course. The owners won\u2019t ban him without a PO. We decide not to get one. She is now 18 and would be required to fill one out \u2013 which means he would have all of her information too \u2013 and possibly an appeal. We make a police report to keep on file but didn\u2019t not get a PO.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I did decide though that now would be a good time to go after that 33K restitution. Remind him to stay away from us. Turns out, the way restitution works is it\u2019s tied to parole. You don\u2019t get off parole until restitution is paid. It\u2019s one lump sum, no payments. That box wasn\u2019t checked in my case. Which is another reason he got off parole. I literally had to get another attorney (And pay 33 1\/3 of it) to take him to civil court. It was worth it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The first letter went out. His attorney comes back with a statement saying he would pay ONLY if I sign a from and stop harassing him at work. WHAT?!?!? He says I\u2019m harassing him OMG! NO \u2013 HELL NO!<\/p>\n\n\n\n The second letter comes with an offer of $5000. \u2018He is going to be on disability soon and we won\u2019t get a dime when that happens\u201d Again \u2013 NO \u2013 HELL NO. I now know he\u2019s owned a vape business for the past year and brags that he is doing \u201cvery well financially\u201d. I tell my attorney it\u2019s bullshit and won\u2019t accept.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The third, we came to an agreement I can live with. March of 2019 – I actually GOT IT! Whoop! Felt like a victory!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n This experience has led to a whole new life I never imagined. I never would have got through it if it wasn’t for Chris and my friends and family. I lost a lot over those 6 yrs., but it\u2019s lead to amazing opportunities to help empower other women and 2nd Amendment Advocacy. I\u2019ve meet the best people in the firearm industry, LOVE what I do, get to impact change, and feel like I\u2019m making a difference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Stalker lives about 10 minutes away in the next town over. Who knows if he\u2019ll come back. I promise though, if he does, I\u2019ll be ready.<\/p>\n\n\n\n #BeYourOwnHero<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Chapter 5 January 2011 After 4 \u00bd years of hell, there was finally a warrant out for stalkers arrest. He was being charged with 3 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[73,79],"tags":[3,34,47,56],"class_list":["post-39","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hiding-hilda-series-stalked","category-toxic-unhealthy-relationships","tag-abuse","tag-narcass","tag-restraining-order","tag-stalking"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hunting4connections.com\/h4c-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hunting4connections.com\/h4c-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hunting4connections.com\/h4c-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hunting4connections.com\/h4c-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hunting4connections.com\/h4c-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.hunting4connections.com\/h4c-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hunting4connections.com\/h4c-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hunting4connections.com\/h4c-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hunting4connections.com\/h4c-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}The Trial:<\/h1>\n\n\n\n
Day two<\/h1>\n\n\n\n
Closing arguments:<\/h1>\n\n\n\n
Sentencing:<\/h1>\n\n\n\n
Naming my weapon<\/h1>\n\n\n\n
Prosecution:<\/h1>\n\n\n\n
Never ending:<\/h1>\n\n\n\n